to get more comfortable. Oh that seductive, secretive month!
So let me fill you in on what Ive learned and whats gone down the past couple of days. Aside from barley speaking to a soul and finding my head in a map scouring the city in a kind of Astrix pattern. "Nope not this street, go back to square one... no, nope not this one either! Holy moses why is this city not on a grid, I am going insane. I took out the London Maps Guide from "A to Zed" Just had to write out Z. Anyway, so took out that obscure booklet with writing so small you'd think each word was meant for a grain of rice in one of those magnifying necklaces. Did I mention that I mumble and laugh to myself as I'm doing this!? Oh such a sight! Probably look like a mad loon!
I decided to try out my oyster pass (a metro card) and check out some random stops on the underground. South Kensington, first stop. Got out, walked around the block and got back on the tube. Seems all that I saw was a really cool church, a bunch of uniform-paler-than-powder-white flats, and a Lamborghini dealership surrounded by boys, I repeat: boys, of all ages, drooling... and of course, yours truly with a huge smile on my face. I tried to take a couple pictures but only one turned out. Then I got it in my head that I was going to find a cafe and write a bit, ended up using my incredible logic and going to Kings Cross which is like a train connection site. I figured that many people intent on going somewhere, coming from every which way...there was sure to be caffeine. When I came out I saw huge buildings like it was a financial district only it was a school hugged in construction about knee high to the fifty foot woman that was telling me to go back and deny my whims once again. Ok so there wasn't really a fifty foot woman, but Id like to pretend there was one, standing up there at crank-your-neck levels folded arms shaking her head, like "Really? You thought this was a good idea?" Then because I was ravenous and desperate I thought Id go to London Bridge. Surely that stop would have something right? I was half talking myself out of getting off there because I thought Id look like a big tourist. Turns out half the train got off there. I don't really know what the area is about but I do know that if a cute cafe with wifi existed and was guarded entirely by bulldogs in rain boots that had left a trail of golden drool in their direction from all of the tube stations, I still wouldn't find it. Even if Shakira was playing and they had a royal gypsy wedding processioning down the street. Holy!
Ok as you can probably tell by reading: I am delirious. Reason being is that I am on a mixed full salad plate high. It is February 29th after all! And I am ecstatic. I have found the mother of cafes! It is in Barbican...which totally makes me LOL (people say this sarcastically here which i adore) because it makes me think of a) Barbizon commercials and how appealing modeling seemed in the 80s ;P (hope you catch my tone here) and b) Obamas campaign slogan of yester year and false promise: "Yes We Can!" When I think about it Barbie Can Too!!! She can wear all kinds of trendy outfits and bitch slap Ken around with her mitten like plastic hands. After all he didn't give her the ring she wanted, and Skipper contrary to popular theory, is actually not her sister.
(long version of slogan)So anyhowzer, the cafe is actually a cafe-bar workshop, (yep its a bike cafe) called; Look Mum No Hands! You can get your bike worked on, grab some fun fare and caffinate. Very cool. The open space, loads of lighting, and DIY decor is a winning combo, and although yelpers would call this place too hip for skip, (ok so they didnt call it that but isnt that a neato way to say it) I rather like it! It reminds me of San Francisco... go figure right?!!? They even have bike maps and trending underground periodicals that you can snag for free. (oh the paradox! you cute lil hipster bunnies!) If I could muster a poser, Id come in with one leg of my pants rolled up and some monkey grease smudged on my ankle, just for cool status. For now I will just sport my plain digs.
What I am noticing here is that I dress just like a guy. All of the women here wear scarves and pea coats and boots with the fuhhrrrr (they're fachinistas you know ;p haha)... and like jewelery and stuff. I swear I'm apart of the girl club too, I have some of that shit somewhere. Alas I will be my plain (Kay D) Jane self. It helps me to not get any male attention anyway.... after all I'm betrothed according to customs! ;P
Wow am I ever good for a ramble. Earlier today after my super score at this cafe...man was that salad plate delish! I met up with Helen (Laurens Mum) who was in town visiting some friends for her birthday. I thought it really kind of her to meet up with me for a half hr and tell me all kinds of things I already knew. I know she meant well, but I think she just met me out of obligation. At least I know Lauren will be thrilled to hear we met up and she might have a babysitting lead for me which would be nice. I'm kind of missing tykes.
New terms related to the kiddies:
nappy=diaper
dummy=pacifier
buggy=stroller
notice the cutesy language that Brits use. and how errr ours are. (its cus English is Germanic just in case you didn't know)
Well I am off for now, going to write some poetry and give the rest of the hood the one up and down if you catch my drift.
Oh and just so you know... you too can train to be a model .... or just look like one ;)
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