ill miss my dog and the soot on my hand warm and chalky from petting his course black fur made brown from the backyard dirt. ill miss how floppy and soft his ears are, how they meet gravity with an absurd buoyancy when they fall back into place as i petal them softly. ill miss his eyes staring up at me, innocent and childlike as he places his chin on my leg in that charming way i taught him to, telling me with his solid rounds of intensity that he wants attention, that he wants to play. ill miss his ready nudges and arm lifts, anticipating belly rubs. ill miss him because he is a sweetness I've raised and watched, tendered like a nurtured soul incarnate with four legs, a cold wet nose and a wagging tail. he licks me in the morning like its a game, sniffs my breath like a doctor checking pulse. he leans his full weight against me upright and collapses against me as if a human positioning as little spoon ready for cuddles. i nuzzle my face into the scruff of his neck and kiss him on his face, his long nose, the place between his ears. he is the sweetest most loyal and protective boy I've ever know. hell love me forever, and look at me with a kind of fevered disbelief when i return home from travelling for months on end. tender and yet foolish, anxiety ridden with his puffer face expression, scurrying about when alerted by suspect noise. i love him so uniquely more than I've ever known how to love, which proves to be so much. he is a part of me that i so see and treasure, because there is a soul likeness. it doesn't matter that hes a dog, that he would rather chase bubbles and squirrels than read a book. to me, he will always be, home.